What have we done?
by twilightmuse62
Summary: Good friends but total opposites, Bella and Edward, overstep the boundaries of their friendship. Can they salvage their friendship and more? Can Edward give up his playboy ways? Or will they push each other away? BxE, AxJ, RxEM Canon Couples, OOC, AU, AH
1. Chapter 1

I awoke that morning covered in sweat, my body aching in ways I never dreamt possible. My thighs were on fire and the ache in the small of my back was undeniable. I felt as if I had slept on a rock. My head pounded and my mouth was dry. I lay there silently breathing in the air around me, scarcely moving, before I opened my eyes, what a strange scent. Something was different, the dream I had had the night before, no doubt a remnant of my drunkenness, was so vivid…so real…more real that any I remembered having.

That's when I felt him stir beside me. It had not been a dream after all. I felt my stomach drop. My eyes flew open it was just breaking light, surely no later than 6:30 in the morning. The events of the previous night came flooding back to me in a rush. Overwhelmed I shot out of his bed, a place I should have never been. I ran to the bathroom, feeling as if I were going to be sick, tripping over our discarded clothes. I had just given my innocence to a man I was sure harbored nothing but platonic feelings for me mere hours before.

I had never been to this place, never been with a man before. I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I grasped each side of the stained pedestal sink. The make-up I had thrown on after my shift at the coffee-shop was over at 11pm the night before was smeared across my eyes, black rings from the mascara wiped in every which direction. I splashed some water on my face and wiped my eyes with the towel on the ring. I felt something warm and sticky running down the inside of my thigh…blood.

It was then that the severity of it all struck me. What had I done? Oh Edward, what had we done? I quickly and silently gathered my clothes, finding my black ruffled camisole stuffed between the couch cushions, and dressed in the living room. As soon as I was presentable I snuck out the front door. The memories of last night plaguing my every thought, I walked blindly out into the sun. It was as if I were in a daze as I walked the three blocks between his apartment and where I had left my truck parked the night before. Oh what had I done? And worse yet, why was I running?

Just then my cell phone began ringing. It was Angela. She and her boyfriend Ben had been at the bar the night before, surely they saw who I left with, and also who I was avoiding. I was not sure I was ready to have this conversation just yet, but, as if by habit, my finger pressed the send key to answer the call.

"Bella?" I heard her say on the other line.

"Hi…" I croaked. I cleared my throat and said a bit steadier, trying to convince myself more than her, "hey, what's going on?"

"So how was The Hollow with Edward last night."

I gulped.

"That good, huh? Jacob kept asking where you'd gone to."

"Yeah…I know. I saw him walking home last night."

"Bella, please tell me you didn't drive last night. What did Edward get as far as his place and say 'to hell with it'?"

"No, no, Ang. It's nothing like that. I didn't drive, Edward did…it's just that…" my voice trailed off.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Ang, I've done something very bad. I don't know what to do." I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

"Bella, it's okay. You can tell me what happened. Does it have something to do with seeing Jacob last night?"

I leaned on the door frame of my truck, trying to take a deep breath. I gripped it tight as I felt my legs grow weak at the memories flooding my brain.

"No! Well, yes and no, and…oh god Ang…what have I done?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So this is my first fanfic in several years. I used to write for Harry Potter but that was a loooooong time ago. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post, but I'll try to keep it to every few days. I wanted to get Chapter 2 up though; I know Chapter 1 was short, but it's mostly just background. So…w/o further adieu, Chpt. 2. :-)

Chapter 2

I leaned against my truck in the parking lot of the bar which I had first gone to the night before, tears pouring down my cheeks. I took in a shaky breath, trying to calm myself enough to drive. I heard Angela asking if I was ok. I wasn't. I was scared shitless. How could I have been so stupid?

I could hear Ben in the background, yawning and stretching next to his girlfriend. Ben and I had both worked at _Newton's Sporting Goods_ while we had been in High School and had remained relatively good friends. He had taken over his family's oil and gas wells two years before when his dad was forced to take a job that involved a lot of traveling. Ben and Angela had been together since I had introduced them six months beforehand.

"Ang…I went with Edward last night…" my weak voice trailed off.

"Yeah Bells, I know. You guys went to The Hollow right? Did something happen there? Did some asshole try to feel you up again?" Angela's questions were coming at me rapid fire. I couldn't process them that quickly.

"N-No…" I stammered. "It's just…well…um…you know how you've been telling me for ages that I'm too uptight and a work-a-holic and a bookworm?"

"Yeah…You really needed to get out some more. Ever since Emmett left for the Army you've been absolutely no fun. Last night was the first time I've seen you cut loose in ages."

Great…she just had to bring up Emmett. God, how I missed him… But he wasn't allowed to speak to me anymore. His finance Rosalie hated me with a passion. Apparently you aren't allowed to have a male best friend if you're a girl. Ugh…I hated her! She and Emmett had been together for years, but when their relationship was on rocky ground he'd started to hang around with me and our manager at_ Newton's_, Jasper.

Jasper and his fiancé, Alice are amazing. They really looked out for me when I was in high school. Edward was Jasper's best friend; Alice doesn't care much for him, I'm not sure why. But that's how I met Edward.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~Flashback~*~

Emmett and I were watching Hockey. There was a game on NHL Network, the Buffalo Sabres were playing the Colorado Avalanche. Emmett was a die-hard Avalanche fan and I, strangely enough, was a Sabres fan. I know, I know…How can a 19 year old girl, living in Forks, Washington, be a fan of an eastern conference team? Well…the long, and short, of the story is that I had family in Western New York and every time I went to visit, my cousin Emily and I would go to a Sabres game; she was a die-hard fan.

I watched as Briere scored yet another goal. Emmett was absolutely furious. The Sabres were up 2-0 in the second period. The first line came out on the ice again and Connelly shot the puck to the goal from the blue line and it dinged off the pole and went high to the left , over the glass and out of play. The buzzer sounded and signaled the end of the period. Emmett gulped down the last of his beer and leaned back on the couch. His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he went out on the porch to take the call.

'It's probably Rosalie…' I thought sourly. His girlfriend had never even met me, and she accused me of trying to get with Emmett. Don't get me wrong…Emmett was very good looking, smart, funny…but the most that had ever happened between Emmett and I was a very drunken kiss when he saved me from some guy that was putting the moves on me at a local bar. Not that I hadn't wanted more, but I valued his friendship even more.

Ok, so I shouldn't have been at the bar anyhow that night, I mean…I was only 19 at the time, but I was, and I was drunk on Jack Daniels, and I wanted nothing to do with the guy who was currently blowing smoke from his cigarette in my face and trying to stick his hands in my back pockets. Emmett saw this and, being the gentleman he was, asked the guy what he was doing with his "girl" and planted a kiss on me to prove a point. He went home with Jessica Stanley that night…him and Rosalie were 'taking a break'. So much for Jessica being my best friend... What a whore she was, she never missed a chance to get down the pants of a guy I liked.

I was lost in my sour reverie when Emmett came back in the room.

"So I just talked to Jasper and he and Alice are going out tonight. He said they're going to play pool at The Woodshed. Wanna go?"

I looked at him flabbergasted. The only bar I'd been to since I'd returned from my summer studies at Oxford was Vamp, and I still had no idea how he got me in there in the first place.

"Um…sure. I suppose…" I was nervous.

"Ok then! Get your shoes Bells! We're gonna get shitfaced tonight!" He clapped me roughly on the back and headed for the door.

We went to The Woodshed and Jasper and Alice were already there. Emmett ordered a beer for himself and I just sat at the bar watching the rest of the hockey game while he laughed and talked to Jasper. Alice came and sat with me and asked if I'd like to do a shot with her. The bartender never even asked me for ID. I mean, I suppose I looked older that I was, but aren't they supposed to card anyone who looks young that they don't know? Not that I was complaining. The shot of Jack Daniels went down smooth, but I chased it down with my beer.

We laughed and played pool, and it wasn't long before Jasper's best friend and his girlfriend graced us with their presence. Edward, he was tall and lanky and the complete opposite of any other guy I'd ever been attracted to, and his girlfriend Tanya, she looked as if she had stepped out of a fashion magazine. She was absolutely gorgeous; he was so out of my league. We all hit it off though and the conversation flowed easily for the rest of the night.

This became our weekend ritual for the next couple months. Emmett and Rosalie were back together, and engaged this time, Jasper and Alice were all over each other, and Edward and Tanya were just there. I felt so out of the loop. Then, right after my 20th birthday, Edward called me. He NEVER called me, we usually just planned things through Emmett and Jasper. Emmett was out of town this weekend so why would Edward be calling me?

"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"Hey Bells, it's Edward…I um…well, would you mind terribly coming to play pool with me tonight?"

"Um sure…that'd be cool. I have a birthday party for my friend Alyssa at 5 but I can come down to the Woodshed about 9:30. Would that be ok?" I was kind of confused. I had no idea why he wanted to hang out with me, especially when everyone else was out of town. And what would Tanya say?

I went to the birthday party and left around 9:15. My friend Lauren had called and wanted to go with me to the Woodshed, I figured Tanya would be there, so at least I wouldn't be the odd man out. I picked her up and we headed down to the bar. I walked in and saw Edward at the bar, alone. I walked up next to him, ordered the drinks for Lauren and myself, and turned to him. He looked like hell.

"Hey, is everything ok?" He almost looked as if he'd been crying. I shoved that thought back in my mind…Men didn't cry, or at least they'd never admit it.

He met my quizzical gaze with his bright green eyes. "Tanya and I broke up," he deadpanned.

My mouth gaped open. What was I supposed to say to him. "Oh…I…um…why?" was all I could stammer out.

"She wanted to get married and start a family. I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I ever will be." The pain over the loss of Tanya was evident in his eyes.

"Hey Bells, who's your friend?" Lauren asked from behind me, her eyes raking up and down Edward's body.

That brought me back to reality. "Oh, um, sorry…Lauren, this is Edward. Edward, this is Lauren." I gestured accordingly.

"Hi," Lauren said in what she thought was her inconspicuous flirting voice.

"Hi." Edward wasn't impressed.

"Um…let's play pool," I said, thrusting three quarters into Edward's hand. "Rack 'em."

After that night I gushed to Lauren and my friend Alyssa about how I thought I just might have a chance with Edward. I was falling for him fast, and even though I didn't want to be the rebound girl, I was lonely and I was really comfortable talking to him. We were fast becoming as close as Emmett and I.

I went to Seattle for the weekend with Angela and Alyssa. When I came back I was crushed. I decided to surprise Edward, only to find out that Lauren had seduced him. She answered his front door in nothing but his tee-shirt. I felt like I was going to vomit. I really needed to find new friends.

End Flashback

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~

"Bella? Hello?! BELLA!" Angela screamed at me through the phone.

"W-what? Sorry, Ang…I'm just…ugh."

"Bells, just tell me what's wrong." I could hear the pleading in her voice. I know she was worried about me.

"I slept with Edward…" I sobbed out and snapped my phone shut, ending the call.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: My apologies for the time between updates. Life happened and I wasn't able to write. My dad was in the hospital for a month and I had to make up half a semester of school work, which is hard as hell in grad school. Anyhow, school is over for a bit, dad's home, and I actually have time to write.

I have the story already written in my head, so it's just a matter of putting it in writing. Next chapter should be up tomorrow. :-)

So, ENJOY!

"_Bella? Hello?! BELLA!" Angela screamed at me through the phone._

"_W-what? Sorry, Ang…I'm just…ugh."_

"_Bells, just tell me what's wrong." I could hear the pleading in her voice. I know she was worried about me._

"_I slept with Edward…" I sobbed out and snapped my phone shut, ending the call._

~Flashback~

I couldn't wait to close the coffee shop. The shit hole of a job was just to pay my bills for the summer. I couldn't stand working there. It seemed like everyone else who worked there were a bunch or welfare rats who wouldn't recognize a days work if it bit them in the ass.

I always got stuck closing the store, which meant that I was stuck there from 8pm until 11pm by myself, had to do all the baking, stocking, cleaning, serving…yeah…pretty much everything.

By the time I finished the last dishes and clocked out for the night it was almost 11:30. I hopped in my truck and quickly changed my shirt and threw on a pair of jeans; no one could see me changing, the parking lot was dark and deserted. I used the mirror on the underside of my visor to apply a small amount of make-up, just enough to touch up what had already been there.

For just having left work, I felt like I looked pretty damn good; my black, ruffled camisole left just enough to the imagination and my jeans were form fitting and comfortable. I slipped my feet into my flip-flops and took off down the road.

I got to the Woodshed at about 11:45. I wasn't sure who was going to be there tonight, and I didn't really care. I had a date with Jack Daniels and Coors Light which I could not miss. When I walked in my friend Molly was behind the bar, she saw me and immediately set up my usual. As I fished some money out of my purse I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind. I turned around and was met with a very drunk Angela.

"Hey Ang! I didn't know you'd be here tonight."

"Yeah. Me and Ben are getting ready to leave…we've been here a while." Angela swayed a bit as she talked to me.

"So everything's all good in the Ben department then?" I asked. They really did make a great couple.

"Better than good, Bells. I think I'm falling for him."

"Well that's a step in the right direction at least, huh?" I winked at her as Ben slid his arms around her torso.

"Hey babe, I'm gonna go out and have a smoke with Edward. He just got here and seems a little upset." Ben dropped a kiss on Angela's cheek as she nodded her consent.

"Hmm…I wonder what's wrong with Edward. Maybe I should go see what's up. He hasn't been the same since Emmett left for the Army last month." I was rambling mostly to myself.

"You know Bells. I know that you're all about this personal virtue and protecting your innocence and blah, blah, blah… But, I know you have a thing for him. Remember how pissed you were about the Lauren thing?"

"Can we not talk about that please?" I turned to the bar and ordered another shot of J.D. I was going to need it.

"Well, anyway. I really think that you should just do it and get it over with."

"What in the hell are you talking about Ang? Are you alluding to the fact that you think I should lose my virginity to Edward? Because that's so not happening, you know he doesn't like girls like me as anything but a friend."

"Ugh, whatever. I'm just trying to help." Angela spun on her heel and started stomping away from me. I caught her by the elbow and was turning her around when the door flew open.

"Fuck my life…" I groaned. Of course Jacob would pick this one night when I was completely stressed from work to come and screw with my head.

"Bells!" His voice boomed across the bar. I plastered a big, fake grin on my face and pretended to be happy to see him.

"Hey Jake. What's going on? I haven't seen you in a while." I said to him as he took up residence next to me. Angela excused herself and went outside, traitor.

"I'm just out drinking tonight. I was kind of hoping you'd be here. I missed you."

"Jake, don't start this again." I groaned.

"What? Can't a guy miss his old high school flame?" he asked as he drunkenly batted his eyes at me.

"Jake, we weren't "flames". We went to prom and got drunk and made out once. That was it. Now if you'll excuse me. I have friends here."

"Aww, come on Bells. Don't be like that. At least have a drink with me after I go to the bathroom." He was literally begging me…how pathetic.

"Sure Jake, sure. I'll…um…just be outside then." Shit. I needed to get out of there and fast. I slipped out the front door and ran into Edward.

"Hey Bells, where's the fire?" he asked as he took a drag off his cigarette.

"Um…did you see where Ang and Ben went?" I was looking over my shoulder to make sure Jake wasn't coming outside.

"Uh…yeah. They just snuck around the corner. They're probably having sex behind the bar." Edward's deep laugh and joke at by friend's expense brought a smile to my face.

"Yeah…shit." I chanced a look through the window and saw Jake making his way toward the front door. "I need to get out of here. Damn it. So much for trying to salvage this night."

"Ang mentioned something about a guy you didn't want to see…"

"Yeah, and here he comes. Fuck." I groaned a took a breath as Jake opened the door.

"There you are Bells. I thought you were going to blow me off. Well, you did blow me once but…" he burst out in obnoxious laughter at his own joke and I felt my cheeks flame all the way to my ears as Edward raised his eye brows at me.

"So let's go get you that drink shall we. You never know what might happen if we get you drunk enough." Jake was so hilarious. Or at least _he_ thought he was. I personally just wanted to kick him in the family jewels at the moment.

Edward finally came to my rescue.

"Actually man, Bella was just here to meet me and we've got plans to meet friends somewhere else. Maybe you can buy her that drink some other time."

I looked at Edward with nothing but pure thankfulness in my eyes.

"Yeah, we have to go meet our friends Alice and Jasper at the Hilltop." I lied through my teeth. I prayed he wouldn't see through my terrible acting skills.

Jacob actually looked kind of dejected but just nodded his head and spoke to Edward.

"Oh, sorry dude. I didn't realize that you guys were here together. Um…well, have fun then." He turned to me then. "Bells, I'll see you around."

Before I could even say anything else, he turned and walked back through the door.

"Thanks Edward. I really appreciate it. Well, I guess I'll be on my way then."

"Hey guys!" Angela decided to once again grace us all with her presence, Ben in tow.

"Hey Ang. Have fun in the alley?" I watched a devilish grin took residence on her face. "Dude, I don't want to know. Ugh." I shuddered at the thought.

"Did I just hear you say you were leaving? Say it ain't so!" She was a very dramatic drunk.

"Yeah. Edward lied to him and told him we had plans to meet some other friends, so now I have to go so I don't have to deal with him again." I really wanted to stay out for the last hour before closing time and get better acquainted with my beloved Jack Daniels.

"So the two of you go somewhere else. Duh. Cuz if he see's you here Edward, then he'll know it was all a lie and he'll come looking for you again Bells."

Shit. She had him pegged there. Jacob was nothing, if not persistent.

"Um…sure. Well, that is if you want to go somewhere else. I mean, you don't have to…"

"Bella…"

" You've really done enough…"

"Bella…"

" and I don't want to impo…"

"BELLA!"

"Huh?" I looked up at Edward confused, as my string of rambling ceased.

"Get in my truck. We're going to the Hollow." Edward left no room for discussion, so I simply nodded and walked over to his truck.

"Have fun you crazy kids!" Angela called as she and Ben climbed into Ben's truck and headed home.

Edward and I drove off to the Hollow. When we got there, several people I knew were there. Edward and I separated and I went around conversing with the other people I knew. Edward did bring me a beer and I bummed a smoke off of him.

I went out on the front porch of the bar and lit my cigarette. A kid I knew from high school, Eric, was out there and we started chatting.

"So, what have you been up to now-a-days?" Eric asked me.

I filled him in on my eventful live as barista and musician, please note sarcasm, and he told me he was finishing up school that semester. I took the last drag of my cigarette and flicked it away, wished him good luck, punched his cell phone number in my phone and promised to attend one of the parties he and his friend Mike were throwing that summer.

It was last call and Edward and I ordered another round for the road. We hopped back in his truck and headed back into town, taking all the back roads so we could finish our beers.

"Hey, I've got beer in the fridge at my house. You want to come have a few more, or are you ready to head home?" Edward asked.

"Yeah I'd like to have a few more. I've got a good buzz going right now." I smiled at him and finished my beer, tossing the bottle in the bed of the truck.

"Cool. You can crash on my couch if you want, so you don't have to drive." It was sweet of Edward to offer. I had crashed on his couch many times before, but only when Emmett and the rest of the gang had been around.

"Ok, thanks for the offer."

We pulled into Edwards and hopped out of the truck. We made our way inside and I grabbed us each a Pabst Blue Ribbon out of his refrigerator.

He sat on his couch and I sat in the recliner as we talked and laughed about the antics of our friends lately, and how Alice didn't like Edward at all since he and Tanya had split. I was laughing particularly loudly at one of the memories we were sharing when I heard a voice that I absolutely did not want to hear.

"Bella?" It slurred from outside the window. Why did Edward have to live on the main road?

"Ugh…I'll be right back. I need to get rid of him." Fuck Jacob for ruining my night twice.

I walked out on Edward's porch and asked Jacob to lower his voice and then just why exactly he was yelling my name down the street at 3am.

"I was walk…(hiccup)…walk(hiccup)…walking home and I heard you. You left me earlier." He was pouting. Lovely.

"Jake, you need to go home. I'm hanging out with Edward right now and it's very rude that I'm out here with you." I was trying to be reasonable in my drunken state.

Apparently Jacob had the attention span of a flea because as soon as he saw Edward's motorcycle he was rushing toward it.

"Dude, I want one of these so bad!" Edward chose that moment to come looking for me. He stood behind me and I leaned back into his shins from my position sitting on the stairs.

"It's for sale for $4G. Interested?" Edward was deflecting Jake marvelously.

"Yeah, I'll get in touch with you! Sweet! Well, I'm gonna go. I'm starving!" Jacob's stomach rumbled.

"Ok, see ya Jake." Edward and I made our way back inside where I shot gunned another beer to calm my nerves.

I decided to sit on the couch with Edward after I made a bathroom run.

I sat down and he turned to me, sitting sideways on the couch.

"I think we should make out."

Wtf?!


End file.
